Extra English 18 - Just the Ticket

37

This is the story of Bridget and Annie,

who share a flat in London,

and the boys next door,

Nick and his friend Hector from Argentina.

Bridget and Hector work for Channel 9

and Annie wants a job too,

but Nick just wants

babes, babes and babes.

Stand by for Extra.

'Dear Miss Taylor,

thank you for your recent CV,

'but at present we haven't got anything

to suit your talents.'

'Dear Miss Taylor

Blah- blah- blah- blah.'

How surprising.

What is the point of all that studying

if I cannot get a job?

Right, last one.

Paws crossed, Charley.

'Dear Miss Taylor…'

What is the point of having a car

if you cannot park?

'Thank you for your recent letter…'

She's got four eyes and reptile skin.

'We are very pleased to tell you…'

- She sees your car

- '..that you have been successful…'

She slides over to it.

She's got you!

'..in your application as a…'

Yes, she is the

Traffic warden!

- Correct.

- What?

I've just got a ticket.

I've just got a job.

As a traffic warden?

- Annie, you'll be one of them.

- One of who?

Annie is going to be a traffic warden.

Well, I have to pass

the entrance exam first.

- What is a traffic warden?

- Someone who spoils your day.

A traffic warden is someone

who stops stupid people

parking their stupid cars

in stupid places.

See? It's started.

I didn't know

you wanted to be a traffic warden.

I didn't know either,

but no one else would have me.

But it is good for the environment

to reduce the cars on our roads.

- So you will have another exam?

- Yeah.

Another exam.

Well, don't worry. I can help.

I've got experience of traffic wardens.

OK, Hector, you can be the driver

and I will be the traffic warden.

- OK.

- You can't park there.

- Yes, I can.

- No, you can't.

- Yes, I can.

- No.

Yes, I can, because this is a bus stop

and I am driving a bus.

The excuses I hear.

Sorry, sorry.

Emergency appointment.

- Bad leg.

- Which leg?

No, no, no, it's not me. It's my hamster.

Sweet.

Sorry, Eric! Eric?

Surely we can come to some arrangement?

Of course we can, sir.

You can pay for the ticket,

I can go home for my tea.

Sorry, sorry, but I was late for lunch

and there wasn't a place to park.

But surely we can sort this out?

When a beautiful woman

meets a handsome man

Well, you're in my little black book now,

darling.

I've only been two minutes!

Well, I have startedso I'll finish.

Sorry, I got stuck up a chimney.

Yes, and there are fairies

at the bottom of my garden, sir.

Rudolph!

Rudolph!

See? Now you know what to expect.

I can't wait.

'Late ironing - penalty £20.'

'Late washing- up - penalty £5.'

Annie.

I need a drink.

I don't believe it.

She's clamped the fridge.

Did you have a good day, Bridget?

- Yes, I did.

- Why is the TV moved?

Annie towed it away this morning.

No licence.

Really, Hector, you must talk to her.

She's too serious

about this traffic warden exam.

I do try, but if I stop to talk to her,

she gives me a parking ticket.

Anyway, exciting news.

Channel Nine is presenting

the Miss Euro babe Beauty Contest.

And guess who Eunice wants

to present the show.

- Me!

- You, Hector!

I could enter the contest myself,

but I might

- Frighten the judges?

- Win.

The programme will need my expertise.

And mine!

- So will you present the show, Hector?

- When is it?

- Next Friday.

- That's the day of Annie's exam.

A double contest, then.

But you'll be OK. I'll help you.

Think of those babes!

It's my job to give you

all the information about the girls,

so nothing can go wrong.

- Well, OK, then.

- Good. Great.

So, when do we start?

We?

Well, Hector will need an interpreter

to help him talk to all those babes.

Nick, you're not getting involved

in this show.

What is the point of having a car

if you cannot park?

- What is a traffic warden?

- Someone who spoils your day.

Sorry, sorry, but I was late for lunch

and there wasn't a place to park.

And guess who Eunice wants

to present the show.

- Me!

- You, Hector!

- Well, OK, then.

- Good. Great.

You have a very difficult job.

You are right.

But a very important job.

Thank you, sir.

No, I mean it.

I know, but I've still

got to give you a ticket.

That's OK. It's your job.

There you are, sir. Have a nice day.

Thank you. And you.

How nice to meet a reasonable customer.

Why are you dressed to go to war, Annie?

I'm going for my traffic warden exam.

Are you expecting trouble?

There are a lot of difficult motorists

out there.

What have you got there?

It's the information

for the Euro babe contestants.

Hector must learn

what each girl likes and dislikes.

- Anything interesting?

- Let's see.

She likes children and animals.

She likes children and animals.

She likes children and animals.

This one's different. Miss Holland Babe.

She likes reading and her ambition

is to learn to read.

Here's another one. Miss Belgium Babe.

Her ambition is to go to the moon.

But she doesn't like flying.

Well, it should be an exciting show.

I hope so.

Well, at least Hector is ready for it.

And so

am I.

I said no.

Cue Hector.

Good evening

and a very warm wellcome

to Channel Nine's Eurobaby Contest live.

Yes, OK. Get on with it.

Have we got some lovely ladies

for you tonight. Have we?

Yes, of course we have.

Yes, yes, we have. Of course we have.

So let's meet our lovely contestants

eager to wear

the Channel Nine Eurobaby Crown.

Nick, get off now.

Nick! Get off now!

If you don't get off

by the time I count to three,

I will cut off your ears.

Onetwo

Comedy!

Cue Miss Swedenbabe.

So let's meet our first contestant.

Miss Swedenbaby!

This is why I didn't want you here.

What's that?

Miss Englandbabe is where?

She's been clamped?

Well, tell her to get a taxi, then.

She won't leave her Porsche?

I'll come and get her.

Who's going to do this?

Listen to me.

You have one simple job.

You must tell Hector who each girl is.

Their names are on these cards. Got it?

Do not mess it up.

Who? Me?

Thank you, Miss Swedenbaby!

Miss Finlandbabe!

Miss Finlandbaby!

Well, good luck with the elephants.

Thank you, Miss Finlandbaby.

Miss Spainbabe!

Miss Spainbaby!

You are not Miss Spainbaby.

So, Miss Italybaby,

it says here that your hobbies

are children and animals.

Fascinating.

Yes! It's your favourite traffic warden.

It'sme!

I passed!

Where is everybody?

The Eurobabe Contest.

Well, good luck with the dolphins.

Thank you, Miss Italybaby.

Miss Hungarybaby!

Are you Hungary? Are you Hungary?

You are not Miss Hungarybaby.

So welcome, Missoh, no.

- How's it going?

- Very well. No problems.

She's a bit emotional, I think.

We've got big problems.

Miss Englandbabe will not come here.

- She's broken a nail.

- Nasty.

But we've got to have

a Miss Englandbabe. We are in London.

Yes, Eunice? Right away, Eunice.

Eunice wants to see me. Now.

Think of something, Nick, and fast.

..eager to wear

the Channel Nine Eurobaby Crown.

Miss Englandbabe is where?

Miss Spainbabe!

Think of something, Nick, and fast.

She's a bit emotional, I think.

- She's broken a nail.

- Nasty.

And we come to our last contestant

in this fantastic Eurobaby Contest.

Last but not least, it is

It is

Of course!

It is Miss Englandbaby!

Welcome, Miss England

- Welcome.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Well, let's find out about you.

You like pizzas

rock 'n' roll and motorbikes.

My kind of girl!

And dancing with women.

I think you mean men. Dancing with

Nick!

What do you think you're doing?

You said you needed

a Miss Englandbaby fast.

I meant a woman.

- Nice legs, Nick.

- Thanks, Annie.

- Hi, Annie.

- Thank you, Miss Englandbaby.

And next, we find out why our babies

want to represent their country.

There are beautiful women everywhere.

I know!

Miss Englandbabe is still missing.

What are we going to do?

Eunice said she'll fire me

if I don't find someone.

Oh, no! No.

Bingo!

I hear we have a replacement

for our last contestant.

It is the new Miss Englandbaby!

So tell me, Miss Englandbaby

why do you want

to represent your country?

I want to represent England

because I care

about the environment, pollution.

I care about people.

And I have great legs.

And the winner of the Channel Nine

Eurobaby Contest is

Miss Englandbaby!

Congratulations, Annie! You did it!

You are the most beautiful

traffic warden in Europe!

Next time in Extra

Nick gets a job in a kung fu movie.

Bridget nearly loses her job.

And what happens

when Annie meets a new man?

And what happens

when Annie meets a newman?